Ghost letter

For Today,

Funny when things get quiet, different alarms go off around me. Why today, October 28th? Why do I feel suddenly sad and simultaneously grateful? Beholden even?  Compelled to write to a ghost this morning. 

Time’s turned inside out. This isn’t a Monday, it’s a Friday. How much time has passed after you? What a strange space to be in. What an odd thought. What a weird sentence. Why do I think you would get deep with me right now? (Pause). 

Memories are so weird! You were so weird! Thats why I adored you so much! Still do.

Spending time with you was one of the greatest gifts of my career. We connected in such a special unmuted tenor. I know it sounds mushy and I would laugh more at myself if I said it out loud, and yet I treasure it like a bubble. Memories of our one-on-one, after school chats. A fragile fragment of time that seems so real. Odd. Sepia-dreaming.

Listening to you. Laughing with you, crying with you.. It was real wasn’t it? My philosopher pal?

Whats the proof? Ooooh, that is deep. Challenge accepted. 

One, I have a playlist you made. Two,“I feel it in my bones.” Feel it in my bones?! Three, pictures and A Facebook page. Is that enough? Proof of life? Seems like, um… that’s it? Oh, dear. Seriously? 

Words, music, and a bracelet… Yep, I’m laughing my ass off too! 

Life it a trip! 

Now I’m full on having a pretend conversation with you. I don’t care if none of this makes sense- to anyone else. I just wanted to say hello today. Oh, and while I am at it I also pretend you dedicated “My Kind of Woman” by Marc DeMarco to me. (I hope it’s not creepy, that wold be awkward). Like a teacher-student graduation song. Just you and I having a philosophical moment of time. You and I like being comfortable in discomfort!

Comfortable in awkwardness, and you made me feel like I mattered. You once thanked me for being a good teacher.  Lucky, lucky me! 

Anyway, Holding sincere reverence for you has been exquisite pain. Today, I celebrate Life with you J!  Thinking of you. 

Oh, and just wait and see where I’m going with I.School! I think you would enjoy. “I’ll show you my world.” Be patient with me, 2023. :) 

I.Newson