5 Relationships

I.School I.

Step 5

Objective:  5 Virtues/ Relationships

    • To identify 5 Virtues; (Confucius inspired)

    • To coincide with 5 personal relationships

Notes

For best results, watch the video first, pause when necessary. Take a day, in fact, to consider the relationships in your own life. Name 5. What virtues, or lack thereof, are you engaging in? 

Not, what you want or think you want, but what you actually say and do within each interaction. 

Procedure

  1. Consider the following 5 relationships: Parent/ Child; Friend/ Friend; Siblings; Romantic Partners; Politics.

  2. And further consider what each relationship looks like within each of the following acts/ virtues:

    1. Benevolence (ren); act of kindness toward ourselves and others with no expectations;

    2. Righteousness (yi); act justly, morally in any given situation

    3. Propriety (li); act polite

    4. Wisdom (zhi); act on reciprocity, learn from mistakes, and act on them

    5. Trustworthiness (Xin); Confucius said “trustworthiness is superior to strength, ability to flatter, or eloquence” He further explained that trustworthiness was superior to either food or weapons, concluding: “If the people do not find the ruler trustworthy, the state will not stand.”

Suggested Readings 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Fundamental_Bonds_and_Five_Constant_Virtues

https://medium.com/illumination/5-virtues-from-confucius-that-will-make-you-more-successful-d23d264302a4

Observations:

As Confucius focused on the masculine (fater/son, husbands, brothers); and as the topic “ruler-subject” assumably follows suit, I venture to broaden our approach. With the focus on “ruler-subject” as one of the 5 relationships, I suggest, a teacher-student relationship. Teacher being in the position of power in relation to the student. What responsibility does each bear within the 5 virtues?

Teacher Ideal:

  1. Act nice, with reverence toward every student.

  2. Act morally, justly (fairly) toward every student.

  3. Dress and act the part. Think Integrity and fortitude.

  4. Admit wrongdoings and improve.

  5. Be a trustworthy teacher.

Great. These sound all fine and good but what does that look like? 

One, I admit I have not always held reverence for all students. However, I have grown to believe that all students deserve an honest education. I have reference for all honest seekers to learn. I have compassion and reverence for all students who are not ready to learn. 

Two, Be fair. Again, self-reflection may indicate I have not always been thus. It is right to be fair.

Three. I dress like a teacher, enough said; Four, see previous apology post. Five: I’m working on it, k?

I am proud that I have always been on time (ok, one snow day, I was late). I dressed professionally. I started every class with “Good Morning”, or “Good Afternoon”, or more accurately “Top O’ the Day to ya”. Prior to any lessons. It was important to greet you all as humans before doing any ‘work’. I am most proud of the relationships I have forged with students over the decades. You are my why. 

As far as the other 4 Virtues. 

You mean me? How do I function with these? Oh I don’t. My relationships are fragile. Frankly, I’m surprised I have any friends left. (Thank you friends!) Family? I plead the fifth. I wish not to disclose out of respect for them. 

But isn’t that a case for redemption? Isn’t that what most philosophies are poised for? Not the ‘already’ nice and behaved, but the, uh-oh, this isn’t working, now what? 

Now what indeed.  

I.School.