Sarcasm is back!

I used to be sarcastic. Really sarcastic.  Kids loved it. I joked that I wanted a capital S printed on a few of my shirts. Wait, Is it capital or capitol?  The grammar police will let me know.  Anywas, Sarcasm.  It was fun and funny to me and I could use it in class as a weapon. Got to be armed.  Then I had kids of my own.  Have you ever tried to describe sarcasm to a kid?  “yea, that picture you drew is really great”- eye roll.  Then try explaining that what you said was the exact opposite of what you meant.  What you meant to say was “Clearly you skimmed on contrasting colours and the composition is crap,  And what is with the content? Did you draw it with your left foot?”  Third graders are more literal and don’t take those comments well.  Their brains are not wired for such contradictions… yet. They may not get the original reference but wait for it.  It’ll hit em later.  The will feel really bad about themselves, about something they did but they won’t be able to put their finger on it.  They just feel bad. 

You sarcasm adorers- ever looked it up in the dictionary? I didn’t.  I didn’t think about it until I started teaching Philosophy.  My own kids were young and one day it occurred to me to think about what I was saying. Sarcasm: “an act or expression showing scorn and usually intended to hurt another’s feelings.”https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/sarcasm  Synonyms include: cut, dig, indignity, offense, put down, slap, slight, disapproval.  Abuse. 

Abuse?  I didn’t want that.  I didn’t want to abuse kids with words.  That’s sick.  What’s a gal to do when she knows she’s sick.  Right “get help”.  There are no sarcasm workshops, so I invented my own intervention.  Stop the sarcasm!  For years I abstained.  I knew I was sarcastic and that I needed to amend my ways.  I was sarcastically dependent. The temptation was tremendous every day.  Classrooms, main office banter, and workrooms were like walking into Las Vegas for a Gambler. But it was the lunchroom banter that proved to be the greatest threat to my sarcasm sobriety. The 

A relapse has occurred.  I simply can’t get through the writing day without sarcasm.