For A,

I have no idea where you are now, and I want you to know I am thinking about you.  I hope you are ok.  I know things did not end well between us.  I hear you.  I remember your anger and I would agree if you said I had no idea how angry you really were.  I did not understand your hostility towards the police, for example. I’m trying to get a better picture now. 

I know you are angry with me for getting you in trouble. I was worried about you and feared for your safety.

I know you are smart. Really smart! I enjoyed two years of in depth conversations with you.  We seemed to have an ability to disagree without getting upset with each other. We were not aligned ideologically, but it worked. You helped me see a unique perspective.  Yes, I did see how you were getting more radicalized.  And then… well, after that, you graduated.  Riots hit that next summer, and I would not have been surprised if I saw your face on the news.  If I could talk to you again, I would say “I think you are interesting, smart, and caring and I care about you.  I hope you are safe. I miss out talks.” Then I would simply listen to anything YOU had to say.  

If we do cross paths again and you don’t want to talk to me because you don’t like me, ok. (I could see us laughing about that).  But if we cross paths again and you DO want to talk to me but you feel bad from the last time we talked- please know- I feel shame too. Let’s get brave it, and shame it out.  Then have a great chat perhaps.  I’m sure you have had many adventures over the past few years!  I’d love to hear tales. Either way, you had an impact on me.  Thank you A.