7 Sins and Virtues

I.School 

Step 7

Objective:  7 Sins and Virtues

    • To identify 7 Sins

    • To identify 7 Virtues

    • Identify Aristotle’s Four Cardinal Virtues

Notes

Around 400 BCE, Plato and later Aristotle philosophized on human behaviors which helped shape western religious doctrines such as 7 sins and virtues,  They can be named and memorized, easily enough, but why care?  Why are they supposedly definitive? What makes a sin a deadly sin? A virtue a cardinal virtue

Procedure:

  1. Recall. Prior to looking, see how many sins and virtues you can name.

Sins: Virtues: 

Answer:

Seven Deadly sins- lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride;

Seven Cardinal virtues- chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness and humility.

2. Compare with Aristotle’s Four Cardinal Virtues of: Prudence, Justice, Temperance, Courage. 

Define Cardinal as: “pertaining to a hinge;” or points to “north, south, east, west” https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=cardinal

3. Self Reflect. Why or why not would you want to follow any path? Virtuous or not?

4. Ask: What does this have to do with I.School? (Indeed.)

Does your school practice fairness, justice, moderation, balance, kindness, strength of character? Or, imbalance, extremes, fear-based learning? Not what schools say, but what they Do? 

5. *If needed- go back to 1,2,3. You are #1! You are learning in an organized structure (2), and remember A-F. Ah, breathe consciously, deliciously enjoying five senses. Breathe 3. 

Observations:

Thats just it. Just reflect. Observe. I am not here to tell you what to do or how to live. The choice is yours. I simply wish to provide alternative considerations.  With that being said, here are my notes, and my conclusions. 

Interestingly, when I have asked classes (people in general) to name seven sins and virtues, most can name more sins than virtues. Try it. People can rattle off 3 or 4 sins- thanks to movies and pop culture, I think. Ask them to name virtues? One or two, max can be identified. Not that it really matters, and yet…when we focus more on sins than virtues. Our thoughts. Our thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habit. 

Moreover, what do we think “deadly” is? And what is the opposite? ‘Lively”? To Live. To flourish. 

Can we, as individuals flourish in a school that provides a less than optimal flourishing environment?

Hmmm, thats a dinger. So-

If I consider Four Cardinal Virtues as living the ‘good life’, a flourishing life, 

And I would want that for myself as well as for students 

and the ‘good life’ consists of 4 hinged points- Prudence, Justice, Temperance and Courage

*(and Cardinal is defined as a hinge. A baseline like North, South, East,West) 

Therefore: 

I am compelled to follow-

Prudence: 

Prudence is gained primarily through living life. Only the keen observer of human nature, the person who has both experienced many things and reflected on these experiences, can develop the ability to judge what actions will and will not lead to happiness. Aristotle’s moral framework thus emphasizes the role of mentors in the ethical life. We must learn how to judge rightly from those who have experienced more than we have and who have gained insight over the course of their lives. Moral education, then, is key. Living virtuously is much easier for those who have been trained by the prudent, and so have been brought up to avoid making certain mistakes in life.

Justice: 

Justice may require a simple reciprocity. If I buy a cup of coffee, I owe the seller the posted price. But it may be more complicated. For example, a wounded veteran may deserve more from the state than an average citizen, since he or she has sacrificed more. In any case, the just person desires to give nothing less than what is due. No one can be short-changed, swindled, or mistreated in any way.

Temperance:

The temperate person does not despise pleasure. Rather, this person subordinates his or her appetites to the greater human good—putting them in their proper place in human life. The temperate person enjoys good food and good wine, but partakes in only as much as the occasion demands. By being incorporated into the whole good life, these pleasures can be what they were meant to be for human beings, rather than undermining our flourishing.

Courage:

The courageous person regulates their emotions, disposing them so that they are willing to face dangers for the sake of what is right. Otherwise, fear or bravado could cloud the judgment of prudence, or overcome the desire of justice to act rightly. For Aristotle, there are two ways not to be courageous: excessive timidity and excessive boldness, between which courage strikes a balance.

Courage in particular involves bravery in the face of death, because death is the greatest sensible evil. The courageous is not one who is free from fear, but one who moderates fear lest it compromise good will. The brave is dauntless: she faces things as she ought to for honor’s sake. Calm beforehand, she is keen in the moment of action. The rash one is anything but calm. The rash are often young, inexperienced, impulsive, and prone to anger. Often the rash hothead wishes for dangers beforehand, but actually shrinks from them in the moment. Thus, rashness is sometimes a mask for the opposite flaw: cowardice. The coward lets fear keep her from doing what is right.

“Courage is a virtue precisely because one acts resolutely despite one’s justified fears. That is, course is not the lack of fear, but its mastery.” www.fontiersin.org May3, 2021.

Ok. I hear ya. I’m working on it.  Very busy, indeed. 

In a Nut Shell:

Prudence is wisdom. Learning from mistakes.

Justice is recognizing what is fair.

Temperance is moderation. 

Courage is pursuing virtue no matter what it takes. Facing fear of the light? 

Conclusions:

As I am human, all too human, my first thought is usually not patience, for example. It’s wrath. Heart pounding “why, you @#$%! Cut me off in traffic…” That is my initial response. As a student/teacher in I.School, I see the virtue in allowing a second thought to slither in. (Slither?) Temper my temper- meant. Why? It feels better. In the long run. It feels better. 

Sloth? Yep. Especially with standardized lessons. But slow diligent fortitude, like writing for I.School? It feels good, albeit painful and challenging. 

Gluttony? Yum. Freedom from food obsession? Exquisite! 

Envy. I’m enough. More than enough. I AM a full time job. Practicing self-kindness is a big commitment. I am very, very busy! 

That goes for greed too. I have enough. More than enough. I could do with less, in fact. 

Chastity does not need to be belts and abstinence. How about mutual permission minus manipulation? Age appropriate concession notwithstanding acquiescence. (I don’t know if that makes sense but it sounds fun).

Humility. I’m proud of my commitment to my craft, of teaching, but what was more rewarding is that I learned -over time- was the I was in the presence of greatness. Students. Your talents, intelligence, humor, honesty, stated and understated beauty. You humbled me. I am always honored in the presence of students.

Suggested Readings

https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-admirable-virtues.html

https://www.thecollector.com/aristotle-four-cardinal-virtues/

Cardinal: chief, pivotal," early 14c., from Latin cardinalis "principal, chief, essential," a figurative use, literally "pertaining to a hinge," from cardo (genitive cardinis) "that on which something turns or depends; pole of the sky,

The cardinal points (1540s) are north, south, east, west. The cardinal sins (c. 1600) are too well known to require rehearsal. The cardinal virtues (c. 1300) were divided into natural (justice, prudence, temperance, fortitude) and theological (faith, hope, charity). The natural ones were the original classical ones, which were amended by Christians. But typically in Middle English only the first four were counted as the cardinal virtues:

Of þe uour uirtues cardinales spekeþ moche þe yealde philosofes. ["Ayenbite of Inwyt," c. 1340]

By analogy of this, and cardinal winds (late 14c.), cardinal signs (four zodiacal signs marking the equinoxes and the solstices, late 14c.), etc., the adjective in Middle English acquired an association with the number four. Online Etymology Dictionary. 

Other Suggested Readings:

I suggest you don’t. Put the books and articles down. Look around. Feel. Virtue silently. Don’t explain it. Virtue feels odd because we are not used to it, not because it’s odd to feel. (Light?)

6 Ways of the Tao

I.School I.

Step 6

Objective:  6 Ways of the Tao

    • To identify 6 Taoist Philosophies

    • Analyze Yin/Yang; Tao; te; Ching; WuWe; Pu

Notes

Inspired by Lao-Tzu’s Tao Te Ching and one of my favorite philosophies to teach. Most are familiar with yin/yang as a symbol. Less are adept to explain it. Least of all me, but I’ll give it a go. The I. Interpretive way. 

Procedure

Imagine the yin yang symbol. Imagine it liquid, fluid. Easily disturbed. 

    • Yin/Yang- Balance, harmony (how do you know?)

    • Tao- Natural Path, Order of the Universe (it is what it is)

    • Te- Inherent character, inner power, integrity (it is the little things)

    • Ching- Trust your path (you know deep down, that you’ve had it all along)

    • Wu Wei- Effortless effort. (Let go)

    • Pu- the uncarved block (mind-less-ness)

Suggested Readings

https://www.unl.edu/prodmgr/NRT/Tao%20Te%20Ching%20-%20trans.%20by%20J.H..%20McDonald.pdf 

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tao_Te_Ching

Observations:

A more harmonious classroom is more better.  Perhaps some disturbances within public education is due to the fact that it is forced to begin with. Unnaturally. Natural curiosity gets replaced with rigorous standards; physical endurance potential sits in a desk; unquestionable trust in institutions over self-regulation; forced learning, forced complacency, rigorous myopic curriculum with a socio-economic agenda, etc, etc. You get it. 

Now what?

Test and experiment with one or all. Honestly, reasonably, morally, ethically. 

Examples: 

  1. Yin/yang. How do you know? You feel it. Like the weather. Can you tell when a teacher is more dominant/submissive? How does that effect the harmony of the classroom?

  2. There is no bad weather, just bad clothing decisions. (Adapting to nature, rather than waiting for nature to adapt to you).

  3. Words. Actions. The little things.

  4. What do you want? Really want?

  5. Be silent.

  6. Live, for now.

5 Relationships

I.School I.

Step 5

Objective:  5 Virtues/ Relationships

    • To identify 5 Virtues; (Confucius inspired)

    • To coincide with 5 personal relationships

Notes

For best results, watch the video first, pause when necessary. Take a day, in fact, to consider the relationships in your own life. Name 5. What virtues, or lack thereof, are you engaging in? 

Not, what you want or think you want, but what you actually say and do within each interaction. 

Procedure

  1. Consider the following 5 relationships: Parent/ Child; Friend/ Friend; Siblings; Romantic Partners; Politics.

  2. And further consider what each relationship looks like within each of the following acts/ virtues:

    1. Benevolence (ren); act of kindness toward ourselves and others with no expectations;

    2. Righteousness (yi); act justly, morally in any given situation

    3. Propriety (li); act polite

    4. Wisdom (zhi); act on reciprocity, learn from mistakes, and act on them

    5. Trustworthiness (Xin); Confucius said “trustworthiness is superior to strength, ability to flatter, or eloquence” He further explained that trustworthiness was superior to either food or weapons, concluding: “If the people do not find the ruler trustworthy, the state will not stand.”

Suggested Readings 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Fundamental_Bonds_and_Five_Constant_Virtues

https://medium.com/illumination/5-virtues-from-confucius-that-will-make-you-more-successful-d23d264302a4

Observations:

As Confucius focused on the masculine (fater/son, husbands, brothers); and as the topic “ruler-subject” assumably follows suit, I venture to broaden our approach. With the focus on “ruler-subject” as one of the 5 relationships, I suggest, a teacher-student relationship. Teacher being in the position of power in relation to the student. What responsibility does each bear within the 5 virtues?

Teacher Ideal:

  1. Act nice, with reverence toward every student.

  2. Act morally, justly (fairly) toward every student.

  3. Dress and act the part. Think Integrity and fortitude.

  4. Admit wrongdoings and improve.

  5. Be a trustworthy teacher.

Great. These sound all fine and good but what does that look like? 

One, I admit I have not always held reverence for all students. However, I have grown to believe that all students deserve an honest education. I have reference for all honest seekers to learn. I have compassion and reverence for all students who are not ready to learn. 

Two, Be fair. Again, self-reflection may indicate I have not always been thus. It is right to be fair.

Three. I dress like a teacher, enough said; Four, see previous apology post. Five: I’m working on it, k?

I am proud that I have always been on time (ok, one snow day, I was late). I dressed professionally. I started every class with “Good Morning”, or “Good Afternoon”, or more accurately “Top O’ the Day to ya”. Prior to any lessons. It was important to greet you all as humans before doing any ‘work’. I am most proud of the relationships I have forged with students over the decades. You are my why. 

As far as the other 4 Virtues. 

You mean me? How do I function with these? Oh I don’t. My relationships are fragile. Frankly, I’m surprised I have any friends left. (Thank you friends!) Family? I plead the fifth. I wish not to disclose out of respect for them. 

But isn’t that a case for redemption? Isn’t that what most philosophies are poised for? Not the ‘already’ nice and behaved, but the, uh-oh, this isn’t working, now what? 

Now what indeed.  

I.School.

4 Know-Able Truths

I.School 

Step:4

Objective:  The Four Know-able Truths

To Learn Buddhism’s 4 Noble Truths as: (there are multiple interpretations)

  1. The truth of suffering (dukkha)

  2. The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya)

  3. The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha)

  4. The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga)

To Re-Learn I.School’s Four Know-able Truths as

    • Suffering Exists

    • Suffering is caused by (false) expectations

    • There is a way through

    • Follow an 8-Fold Path (recipe)

Notes

I’m imagining students sitting in a classroom right now. If you are not sitting in a class right now, I bet you can still imagine it. Square room, about 30 desks. Flat board to look at, teacher in front. 

Procedure

  1. Ask: What are you learning? What do you see? What are you hearing? (Right now)

  2. What are you doing? How invested are you in this learning? How alert are you? (Right now)

  3. Concentrate.

  4. Contemplate or, Reflect.

Congratulations! You just learned the 8-Fold Path! As:

Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.

Let us replace the work “right” to True. Yes? I mean, it is right, right? Or, opposite of left? and I don’t even want to get political. It’s just that as a truth seeker, It makes sense that true learning, Honest.

Suggested Readings 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths

Observations:

I call this the four “know-able” truths, because it poses some self-reflective questions:. If you truly begin to understand what I am saying as a truth, that is certainly not going to feel any relief from suffering, in fact, it’s going to hurt. Keep remembering: You are #1. Truth. lets skip that middle part for now, and just 3. Breathe Ah, A-F. (nope I don’t know what happened to E, well actually I do and it get’s back to Grades of milk. (another story).

F. Feel. Sense 5

I.School I.

Week: 5

Step: F

Objective:  Sensing 

    • Recall 5 Senses as: Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch

    • Use the 5 Senses to gather information about yourself and your surroundings

    • Recognize you are human and have sensations

Notes

Notice how four of your five senses are above the neck. All compiled into one tiny head space. And touch! Why skin is the largest organ of the human body. Isolate each sense and then synthesize it according to your playful nature.  Most (all?) information about ourselves and out surroundings are through these curious powerful portals. It’s fun to “get out of your head” and enjoy the weird senses surrounding your days. 

Procedure

  1. Look around, and recognize five colors

  2. Listen for four distinct sounds

  3. Identify three smells

  4. Taste two sensations

  5. Feel one thing at a time; acknowledge temperature, softness, hardness, nothingness (air)

Suggested Readings 

https://www.mondaycampaigns.org/destress-monday/unwind-monday-5-4-3-2-1-grounding-technique

Observations

I found researching lesson plans on this topic interesting. Two main focus groups that popped up are: 1-for Pre-school kids to get excited and learn about the five senses in a playful and engaging manor; and 2- for high school students to use their senses to “get grounded” from all the stress and anxiety. So, what happened in between? When did learning ones environment turn into a need for safe-spaces? For relief?

E. Enjoy. Play.

I.School I.

Week: 4

Step: D

Objective:  Playing

    • To acknowledge that playing is integral to a more fulfilling life

    • To Improve:

-cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being 

-confidence, social skills, independence, self-esteem 

-creativity which leads to problem solving

    • To have some dang fun!! Fun. Natural fun.

Notes

It seems unnatural to create a lesson on playing. Yet, why is it that playing seems to be viewed as childish fluff? The last thing we can enjoy after all the important stuff is finished; which coincidentally, never seems to get done. Sure, playing sports, games, music etc, is playing; But when does it become more competitive than creative? 

Procedure

  1. Take this seriously! (Or not)

  2. When was the last time you just played? Imagined?

  3. Tap into an early childhood memory of play.

  4. What would that look like? For me I:

    1. Dance

    2. Draw

    3. Daydream

And what about you?

Suggested Readings 

https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/how-play-helps-childrens-development#:~:text=Play%20improves%20the%20cognitive%2C%20physical,confidence

Observations

How conducive is school to the crucial care of creativity and play? 

D. Eat

I.School I.

Objective:  Nourishment/ eat “Dine Deliciously”.

    • To help with growth and development

    • To identify foods that are available and good for you consistently

    • Find your own “diet” tribe

    • To enjoy fine Dining

Notes

“let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” Hippocrates

Procedure

  1. Find a routine that works for you.

  2. Stick to that routine.

  3. For me, I like to savor and focus on the nourishment.

Suggested Readings 

No thanks, all full. 

Observations

This may be a case where freedom has its disadvantage. While the plethora of choices and lure over ever- changing tastes and trends is tempting, it poses a problem. What is best- for you? Now? 

I have struggles with food, weight and body image since age 9. I.School gave me time to focus on what and how I want to eat. Really eat!

Once I found my favorite things- meals- I was able to stick to it and have been at a healthy, confident weight for more than a year, so, there. :)

 I did take an on-line class. Took less than a month. But it just clicked. 

If you are one who struggles with food and eating. Salute! My brethren! I get it. I’m here. You’ve got this!

C. Sleep

I.School

Objective:  Sleeping/ Consciousness 

    • To Define Consciousness as: An awareness of ones self and environment.

    • To Understand 4 Levels of Consciousness:

-Conscious; Your most awakedness. 

-PreConscious; Stuff you don’t really think about still but do, like driving, or drooling.

-Subconscious; The weird stuff we do that comes from the psyche.  (The fun stuff!)

-UnConscious; Let’s just call this one sleep.  

    • To become more aware. (See Notes)

Notes

Unfortunately, for some, this awareness could be a real bummer. There is a reason why so many people (myself included) often opt-out with mind-numbing tasks to avoid painful realities. I pledge, in I.School to be more aware, more of the time. 

Procedure

  1. This is entirely up to you.

  2. If you are reading this, I assume you are somewhat conscious.

  3. If you want, ask yourself “On a scale from 1-10..what is my awareness?”

  4. Personally, I find it helpful in most areas of my life to become more aware, as difficult as it is. Some techniques I picked up along the way are:

    1. Taking conscious breaths throughout the day, say while breathing, is a good start. Again, don’t do much, simply be aware, or not. (See #1)

    2. H.A.L.T.! If you have an altered level of pre-consciousness that potentially could impair judgment leading to (avoidable) drama, pause. Pause if you are- hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Cheesy, I know, but memorable.

    3. Not much to “do” when sleeping, but the dreams‽ Ah, my specialty! If you want you could write down dreams. For “fun,” to become more aware of your mood and state of mind as soon as you wake.

Simply being aware could help pause when conversing with others, for example. 

Suggested Readings 

https://www.holistic-mindbody-healing.com/levels-of-consciousness.html

Observations

Exactly!

B. Breathe

I.School

Objective:  Breathing 

    • To identify the best techniques for you personally- to breathe

    • To understand how breathing can help you and I:

-calmly listen (or at least fake it for a tad)

-redirect those nasty emotions that can make your life worse if you/I don’t calm the heck down

-enjoy the moments for moments sake! 

    • To use these breathing practices in order to become a more self propelling wheel

Notes

Yea, I get it. I’m tired of people telling me to “just breathe!” Or “calm down” too.  For the purposes of I.School this is a returning point. A space to come home to. Not just breath- Your Breath. A mighty I.Sigh!  It is highly recommended that you, (I), continually breathe. For now. 

Procedure

  1. Don’t do anything. You are already breathing.

  2. Well now that you are thinking about it, might as well swirl it around a bit.

  3. Try a bunch of different ways of breathing until you find a few you like.

  4. Personally, I like to stick to three (as a base)

    1. One to the head- sort of remind myself to “clear space”

    2. One deep breath to the back of the lungs- gets me “out of my head”

    3. Ah, and this is the magic- belly breaths. This is the one I return to again and again.

And what about you?

For starters, just “catch yourself” breathing. Anywhere. Any time. 

One. Two.Three. 

Suggested Readings 

I was going to add a few links here, a TED talk there, but here an ad, there an add everywhere an ad ad, and I noticed my breathing became shallow and quick. Sort of counter productive, don’t you think? Or is it good practice? You decide.

Hypnotize Yourself- Dan Candell TEDxAuburn Middle School

https://www.kindercare.com/content-hub/articles/20

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breathing

Observations

In researching breathing, nearly all “helpful” resources about breathing start with the words- ‘anxiety, stress, or anger’, which consequently increases all three sensations in me.  

Breathe Free. Right now. Enjoy.

I.Summer School

I.Summer School in season. 

Four Weddings; Four Funerals. As seen on TV.

These are the real tests of character. Outside of school and learning. How would you assess your behavior at weddings and funerals? Does school prepare you for life? Death?

These are big events in ones life. Witnessing.

Where do we get the ideas as to how to preform weddings how to act during them? Funerals?

Do we take time to thoughtfully prepare for how to witness these events, or do we follow screens? Allow TV, movies and pop culture to shape our behaviors?

I used to be pretty numb attending weddings and funerals. I’ve learned that being awake and making the ceremonies more about the other- couples or deceased- is a completely different experience.

I.School has slowed me down. Allowed me to reflect more fully on these occasions. I am amused and humbled by watching others. And when it came time for my own sons wedding… two years after this post,

Well, I am grateful for I.School.

For K,

Thank you for The Nutcracker Ballet Tickets. I had not been to the Denver Center for the Performing Arts in a long, long time for a ballet performance.  In fact, the last time I can recall seeing The Nutcracker was when I was but a wee-one myself.  Like many little girls, I dreamed of flitting and fluttering in pink tights and tutus. Then to see Clara, approximately my same age, engaging in a relatable bedtime holiday routine- with the exception of dancing human mice, gingerbread soldiers, and a sugar plum fairy set as entourages. Needless to say, scenes were reenacted my childhood bedroom habitually. 

Fast forward a few decades and I am watching you like a dream, a former student, fulfilling her dream. 

Initially, when you approached me at the start of a school year and asked me to be your social studies tutor, I said something unremarkable like “yea, sure.” 

You did not attend high school full time. I did not know you, and you were not even officially registered in my class. Nonetheless you showed up twice a week on my planning time, in my room, on my stage. Later to be my teacher.

You were quiet, incipiently shy and fiercely determined. Focused to complete preposterous graduation “essentials” so you could get on with your passion to dance. Apparently you were required to complete 1.0 credits of ‘either’ US or World History (as if indistinguishable). Advised by your friends to implore “a one I.Newson” as your guide, you came to me. 

I remember you saying something like “my friends told me to ask you, but I think American History would be easier.” As a World History teacher at the time, I think I said something like “well, your friends may be right, but we are going to have a lot more fun in World!”
Topic: “Nineteenth Century Russian Empire.” (Oh, boy).

Now, I could have deviled into the inefficiency of the Russian government due to its great power, blah blah; Or how the isolation of its people and the economic inequities created a call for constitutional reforms .. (history or current events?) Anyway.

Instead I told you a story about what happened to one family. One boy, in particular, being raised under an empire in chaos. 

Long story short, this boy didn’t fit into institutionalized education as a student and he did not join the military like his father. He became a civil servant (a private tutor), and spent the rest of his life composing music. Scores like Swan Lake, and The Nutcracker are among some of his creations. 

Imperialism, nationalism, and militarism are terms to learn, but I thought you might  be more inspired by someone like Tchaikovsky who wrote great works, not because Russia was a great Imperialistic empire, but in spite of it. He defied traditional norms and followed a passion.His passion. Like you did, following your passion. 

You were initially defensive, assuming I would be another teacher shaming your choice to dance instead of going to school “like everyone else”. 

Quite the contrary. I marveled in your defiance. I witnessed intuitively that you would have been The Dying Swan had you remained confined in a desk like an “aerial creature struggling against earthly bonds” as one French critic said of Pavlova (a Russian Dancer, oh, you probably already knew that…). 

I appreciated you not sugar-plum-fairy coating stories of jealousy, sabotage and the literal “cut-throat” atmosphere you endured as a professional dancer.  Sheesh! What drama! Like stories of the Russian Revolutions themselves! I eagerly awaited your perceptions of the sacred behind-the scene world of ballerina battles played out viciously behind the curtain.  

Unbeknownst to you, you are an admirable revolutionary. You chose to dance.  And I can see you rolling your eyes at me right now. You shook your head when I got philosophical. I get it. Not your cup of tea. Not your style of dance. Just pass the test so you can float, fly, and tour en l’air! 

And you did. Most magnificently. 

It was an honor to be your humble servant. Also a bit embarrassing sitting in the front row at the DCPA… sobbing. It’s ok, K, it was a cleansing. A purification. A consequential cost of beholding brightness before me. (I know, I know, there I go again… HA). Wrap it up. K, affter all these years I can report I learned three things from you: one, watching you dance moved me to; two, search for inspiration; starting with three, dance moves. Yep, at 53, a retiree, I dance. Badly, but boldly!! 

I don’t know where you are today. So, You are welcome for the tutelage, and I thank you again for the ballet tickets.  I wish you a metaphoric Grand Jete salute. (?) lol. 

Adieu to you, 

~I.Newson

For Z,

“The only Philosophy I need is the Philosophy of Jesus Christ and his Love,” was what you wrote on your Philosophy final when asked, “What was Philosophy to you?” I do not remember many final remarks from the thousands of students I have had in class, but I remembered yours. 

Now I’m not going to pretend you and I were particularly close, and in fact, it sort of became a shtick to ‘entertain’ the class with our banter. You challenged me relentlessly, which is one of the reasons I liked having you in class.

In order to clarify beliefs and values when confronted with differing perspectives in Philosophy, I presented a plethora of views. You asked questions and I think you would admit that you liked to try and rattle me a little. Yes, I did greatly appreciate it. I mean, how else can I get better?

At school, you literally sat front and center at a wobbly table in our lil old corner class room, flanked by two friends. Me facing you all, sitting in my teacher chair. And with my vantage point, I could tell if and when I said something you did not agree with. I could tell because you would get this glimmered look in your eyes, slightly grin your dimpled cheeks, and usually whisper something to your friend before I’d say something like, “anything you want to add Z?” The class would laugh and we would commence our debate. 

I believe the whole class benefitted and unitedly bonded in oppositions. You changed class dynamics by being dynamically you. And although you may have been a bit of a heckler (wink), you were respectful, funny, and you graciously held your convictions. Your mom and dad would be proud, even when not watching (right?).

Privately, it was when you and I talked before or after school that I will remember best. You would come in to get make-up work prior to missing class, usually due to golf.  Conscientiously, you made sure to get clarification on all assignments you submitted. 

That was when I witnessed a vulnerability in you I suspect is rare (at least for this teacher). Both of us were less guarded, less masked, and we authentically talked. We talked about your volunteer work, family, friends, and girls (just a little). I remember one time your voice got shaky when talking about the kind of man you wanted to be. Not the successful one we all saw you were, but the ‘man’. The husband.  You talked about the kind of family you wanted to have. The kind of father you wanted to be. I think we both got a bit emotional that day, if only for a moment, and the rest of the conversation will forever remain between you and I. 

Beyond your charisma, talent, dimples, hair, and infectious humor, I will remember your convictions, your deep sensitivity and your love. 

It might sound weird and perhaps selfish to say this, but you gave me a gift. It gives me peace to know you had peace. You knew who you were, what you wanted, the kind of man you wanted to be and that the only philosophy in life you needed was the Love of Jesus Christ. 

You died doing what you loved. You died knowing you were loved. That is a gift. 

As I am familiar with the grieving process, the one thing I know to magnify, are the memories. The whole ones, not just the good ones. The ones that do not make the obituaries. The laughter-through-tears stories. The sometimes not-so-flattering stories. Those are the reminiscences I cherish; even if one is a not-so flattering story that includes me. 

You taught me lessons of love, passion, conviction and loyalty.  Lessons I may not fully grasp, but can revere nonetheless. Thank you Z for upholding your values. You were, are, a model in philosophy. Peace be with you Z. 

Affectionally,

Ms. Newson 

An Apology

“Sorry.”

An Apology,

I would like to sincerely apologize for my participation and collaboration within the public school system. A system that has injured you physically, emotionally and intellectually. It was my job as a teacher, a person in a position of power, to protect you. I was woefully inefficient in that regard. What I did was wrong and I’d like to take responsibility for administering standardized tests, for one. 

To say I didn’t know better is a burdensome half-truth. Truth is, I know better now. 

Please accept my genuine and heartfelt remorse. 

I’m dedicated to change. 

I.Newson

Because change, (it) has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here. What better time than now. RATM.